Community search for neighbour

You hear about it, see things on the TV, but this morning I saw it face to face – a community facing a crisis together.

One of the villages I serve has been turned upside down by the disappearance of one of the villagers.  Not having been listening to local news, and the chapel folk guarding me on sick leave so not telling me – today was the first I knew of it.

I had arrived at the village hall to hand over the library file to the volunteers at coffee morning – and found the place heaving with walkers dressed for muddy fields complete with walking staffs, a couple of police vehicles and a sign announcing search times. The woman concerned has been missing since last Thursday and good numbers of villagers, and folk from further afield have been making up daily search parties all co-ordinated with the police from the village hall – with non-walkers manning the sandwiches and teapots.

This is a community drawn together to do whatever needs doing for one of their own, people with troubles of their own, people who don’t get as involved in village life, those who know her, those who don’t – all coming to do what they can.  Emotions are raw and complicated, people are not sleeping, normal life has to be fitted around this upside down and unsettling event.

In the light of all that I feel apologetic about discussing my own feelings, but then the focus of this blog is my wobbly life...

I felt awful walking in not knowing and, whilst it was known that I have been off sick, I felt as if I had neglected them, by not being there. I felt guilty that I hadn’t known although it had been on the local TV news.  My first instinct was ‘I’m not dressed for this but have wellies in my car boot’ but I caught up more by staying at base and talking to people there.

The vicar has been on hand, the retired minister has been there, the professional searchers and a community who have plenty of resources to care for themselves – yet I still feel I should have been there. What could I have done? Probably nothing to add to what happened without me.

It may be the very human response to the situation – the desire to ‘do something’ – but equally there are elements of my expectations on myself because of my role, and a sense that I have in some way failed in that role. Which is of course totally untrue, and sitting to write it out in black and white helps me to see that, and put the emotions back into context.

The hunt goes on – please pray for all involved