Knowing you; Knowing me

A couple of situations have arisen locally where people are having to wrestle with questions about how well they really know someone. The details are not for here, but the bigger questions are.

It is comforting to know that you know someone, that their moods and actions are predictable, understandable.  You can plan around that, know how to support them, care for them, or annoy them and press their buttons.  But we cannot know anyone fully, cannot be sure of the depth of emotion, depth of potential, possibility of the unexpected.

This is because we cannot fully understand ourselves, so how could we claim to understand others?

If I look back across my life I see the times I have achieved something I throught was so far beyond me - facing up to teenagers was one huge thing, and next Friday I have the repeat visit to a new batch of year 10s to talk about journey and my journey.  Equally I have found myself to be cabable of things that I thought myself too good, too moral to even contemplate, and if others knew what I really was capable of feeling and doing...

So good or bad I can surprise or shock myself, even when I think I know myself well.  So the actions of others however much we think we know them are also able to surprise or shock us. More so as we have less knowledge of the build of emotions and circumstances. And if we cannot predict our own responses, if we dare not acknowledge the range of potential in ourselves, then we cannot hope to know the mind of others.

So what happens if they seem to act out of character? Does that undermine everything else we know about them? It is easy to draw a line that separates and which claims all we thought we knew to be untrue,  it is easier perhaps than grapple with the idea that someone could do something more than, or less than, what we thought we knew them to be.

'Knowing me, knowing you, it's the best we can do' went the old song on my sister's record player.

We do the best we can at understanding ourselves and others, but there is always room to be surprised - in many directions. Sometimes that surprise may lead us to anguish and weeping, sometimes to wonder and awe. But there is always the potential to be surprised - however unsettling that may be.

Only God can fully know us, and he accepts us, with our potential for good or ill, our strengths and weaknesses.