After the retreat...

I have shared a couple of things that hit me during the retreat but what about the experience of being there?

It is intended as a step apart from the day to day, a change, a rest, a place of refreshment, but at the same time it was a coming together of people with something in common – in this case people who are fairly new to being ministers and those who help us settle into the role. 

Last year most people were new to me, this year there was a good clump of people from my old college who I knew or knew of, so there was a lot of catching up and comparing experiences – in other words a lot of talking about the day to day that had been left behind!

For me, having been off work and talking more online than face to face, it was quite intense to be suddenly with a whole group of people, and with set times for meals and gatherings.  I got social overload at first, despite enjoying meeting with friends.  Retreats come in various forms – some offer minimum of input and lots of chewing over time, others have a lot of structure to the sessions. This was one of the minimum types which suited where I am right now, but normally I struggle with long undefined times. For me a long silent retreat would be punishment not something to recharge batteries.

Strangely for a few days designed to give us a rest I found it a step towards work mode.  And I coped. I did flashback to some tough emotions of the past when talking to someone having a tough time, and that floored me for a day, surprised at the intensity of old pains.  But I was not consumed by the fire, I walked through waters and did not drown.

The retreat worked in that it gave me things to think about, and people around to encourage and support me, even when facing struggles. After sleeping off the late nights, I can reflect that I am confident in my ministry – despite my wobbliness; confident in my strength as a person – despite old ‘war wounds’; and looking forward to the future.