Taming the lions....

Two years ago, back in the infancy of this blog I wrote about being invited to speak to 100 year 10 students from the local high school – beforehand reflecting on Teen Angst, and afterwards in Before the lions.  Well after that terrifying walk into the lion’s den of my old fears personified in the crowded room of teenagers I was a gibbering wreck but glad to have faced it and got it over.

I was invited back last year and it wasn’t so bad, today I hiked with them again (well this year’s yr 10s anyway). Two years of journeying, including some scary Friday night’s at youth club, and now for the 3^rd time of asking I could stand in front of them without shaking, still a bit shaky in finding a starting point, but able to speak and my struggles with bulling at school, the depression, the importance of loving yourself and with resources from Time to Change challenged to stand against stigma and be open to talking about mental health and other tough stuff.

Gabi, my big fluffy dog coming along for the exercise helped break the ice and opened conversations too. It was clear that people were listening and affected by what I shared, both teens and staff. Talking about things that are so personal and touch deep vulnerable bits of you is tough, and for the third time round it is in some ways less scary – I know the audience won’t bite – but in other ways still as hard. 

Yet the power of the personal story is immense, beyond any statistics or flashy adverts, the story of an ordinary person reaches parts nothing else can. Which is why breaking the silence so we can talk to each other, daring to ask for help and daring to try and understand and support each other, is such an important goal.

Tagged teenagers

When I started being involved in the youth club in September I was a firm believer in the value of structured activities, and concerned about their absence. But sometime over the past couple of terms I have been converted, not fully but very significantly.

I started from the principle of youth club offering something different to the street corner ‘hanging’, and I admit I was intimidated by the chaotic behaviour.  Last Friday watching 13-14 yr old lads playing something as basic as tag around the village hall site it struck me that this was possibly the first stage they have been free to find their own entertainment.

When I was at primary school we had weekends and holidays full of games in the street and around the estate – from tag to our own creative worlds. When we reached the high school we felt that we had grown out of such childish games, so it seemed odd at first to have reputation-conscious teenage lads playing primary games.   This week though it dawned on me that these were the same age as my nephew, a generation that spent primary years being ferried to organised activities rather than free to play out. Now they are older they finally have the chance to catch up.

If this is the way it is then it is important for them to have this space, to be able to run around chaotically somewhere.  Not wildly, I have my limits as do the village hall neighbours! And I still believe in the benefits of having things they can get involved with, be it the karaoke machine or craft, and hope to get a skate ramp building project off the ground.  But now I also see the need for the running around and childishness – they need that time and space. May find a use for the naughty step at times for some mind you!!