Tonight I have cooked properly for the first time in about 4 weeks, ok so 2 weeks I was away in retreat and then at Methodist conference so not expected to provide for myself (half a stone in weight over that fortnight if interested!) Before that I had a manic week and relied on ready meals, then I came home from conference and once back, well between party sandwiches and cake and an empty fridge and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos I abandoned when I left... well it was junk food all round.
But Monday I brought lots of healthy fruit and veg, and today I actually cooked with some of it! Ok so the curry sauce came out of a jar and the noodles from a packet, but the meat and veg were fresh! It doesn’t really take any more time than the junk food but when the kitchen is chaotic and the sink full of 3 day old dishes, it feels too much to face.
I admit it – I need a housekeeper. My cleaning regime is to do things when either someone is coming around or I reach my own tolerance level (and it is amazing how much more tolerant it is possible to be with your own mess compared to other people’s!) I came home fresh and renewed, to face the abandoned props of an ecumenical breakfast, the church stand at Party in the Park, the quarterly marriage returns (to 4 different offices as on county borders, even if no weddings), etc etc...
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| My last gardening enthusiasm has produced some lovely poppies - its just I thought I had planted lily of the valley!! |
I regularly assert a fresh start, such as with the garden – only to be beaten back by relentless weed and lawn growth. Maybe after ordination, now I no longer have anything to prove about my ability to cope, I can allow myself to overcome my independent streak and miser instincts and dare to get help in whether cleaning or gardening? Won’t help my filing but I might feel less overwhelmed and able to face it.
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