When I did my local research in the area I found that some of the villages I work in had TV before water pipes to the homes. That stopped me in my tracks, it didn’t fit that history book version of development, surely in 1960’s Britain it wasn’t normal to go and gather water from the village well? But it was normal here.
I have got used to my version of normal life – that includes low moods, fatigue and general sleepiness. It is just what being me is like, my normal even if different to yours. But what if it doesn’t have to stay that way? What if I can change my normal – just as the village changed theirs when the water pipes reached them?
For years before I crashed and came under the doctors for my depression I lived with it in a coping, adapting, this is my normal so just have to get on with it attitude. On one level fine, but it was as if the pipes went past me but I didn’t tap into the running waters that could have given me a better quality of normal.
I think I may have been doing the same thing again. I discuss my depression with the doctor, but never think to comment on my level of sleepiness. It can be linked to depression, but also could be the old Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – which doctors have had little to offer and because I can cope and adapt, then don’t make a fuss. Also it sounds like I am simply lazy so its something I haven’t discussed with anyone.
But it turns out that there is something known as Excessive Daytime Sleepiness – and there are ways to challenge it. So maybe my normal doesn’t need to stay the norm?
I don’t fall asleep all the time – but I do feel that I spend all my time trying to be awake enough. I can know what I want to do and write etc but it takes forever to boot up my brain to do it even if simple and short tasks. Then curl up for recharge afterwards. I have decided to discuss this with the doctor – maybe this is just my normal and I will continue to work around it, but what if another version of normal could be only a few honesty steps away?
Helen
ReplyDeleteThis is really helpful. Since I've been off work for nearly 6 weeks, my GP and my pastoral counsellor have been discussing with me various symptoms associated with my depression & anxiety. Though I'm feeling much better now, I am still experiencing profound sleepiness (compounded by poor sleep at night without sleeping tabs). Last week my GP mentioned the same syndrome to me as something worth considering. In my case this may be complicated by my diabetes. I am seeing my GP again tomorrow, when she will be taking things further.
Can I say again just how helpful I found your blogs over the past months. It has been a really proactive aid for me as I slid into depression following further complications with my fractured jaw & cheekbone in the autumn. I so value your honesty and the reality with which you address your ongoing situation.
Every blessing, Simon
Thanks Simon, would be interested in what dr suggests.
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