So the answer seemed to be yes to the Dog question. I have been to the rescue kennels and met the one I fell in love with on the website. She is a collie/samoyed cross about 6yrs old, a big girl, and more so as both fluffy fur and very overweight. I have offers for dog walking from a friend who can’t have a dog in her flat, so between us she should get the exercise she needs to lose the flab, and we will go on a diet together.
Most people have been very positive about my live-in therapist and fitness buddy, the occasional warning comment has been from people worrying about me taking on a burden, rather than seeing the benefits. My second visit to see Gabi was when I only felt like hiding in bed and would have all afternoon except I was motivated to do something else.
The new meds are still in early days, and in the morning – as yesterday’s has worn off and today’s not yet in the system – I feel so low. It is in the mornings than I doubt myself as a dog carer, as a minister, as capable of the most basic of things. Yet I do what I have to, I am thanked for a good service and sermon, or the Lent study group I somehow stumbled through. So I know somehow I can, and each day have to live in the moment, for the thought of years stretching ahead can seem overwhelming.
Yet this too will pass, and as I live in shadows now I wait for light of resurrection, a journey Gabi and I can take together, both rescued and learning to find our place.
But first I have to bring the house halfway to order at least before tomorrow's adoption inspection...
