It is done...

(written a few days ago, but no access to post it as too lazy t o hike laptop all the way to the conference centre!)

The promises made, the hands laid on... I have been ordained.

With all the ‘I do’s the comparison with marriage is not unreasonable.  On Sunday morning at the gathering of conference in worship we stood on the stage and together agreed to be committed to the church that nurtured and trained us and that church affirmed our role as ministers.

Then in the evening we were scattered in class groups to various churches for the ordination services. I was with college friends and a local colleague at Wesley Methodist Church in Camborne. Distance meant that no-one had hordes of supporters present but that made having those who did make the long journey even more special. 

Having family with me was so important but also was the presence of my assisting minister* and his wife, he has been very ill and has serious treatment still to come but as a couple they have been alongside me since I was 18 through all the ups, downs and diversions of my path to be a minister, and in my journey as a fragile human being.

All that travel through life – its joys and its appalling depths – concentrated into a moment.  A minute of kneeling and receiving that prayer and those hands on my head as the end of years of preparation, was it an anticlimax or a fulfilment?  The moment passed quickly but the service and the day will stay with me, the moment when all present proclaimed each of us worthy to be ordained. 

I am now ordained, a status that will remain with me, there is no divorce process for this set of promises.  I have promised myself to God and to the church, but that is in response to God’s commitment to love me before and despite anything I do or ever did.  

As an ordained minister I may be very busy  doing but essentially I am called to be, so whether I am ‘employed by you or laid aside by you’ ‘I am yours and you are mine’ (quotes from the Covenant Service where Methodists reaffirm the commitment to follow God’s call).

So I am changed by being ordained? Well it is a huge landmark, especially given that I had good reason in my breakdown days to doubt I would ever get here, but ultimately I am still me, still the person God made me, just another step in fulfilling the potential of ‘life in all its fullness’ (John 10:10)

* Methodists are ordained by 3 people – someone representing the authority of the conference (President or former president), someone from the wider world church, and an assisting minister chosen by the person being ordained – someone who is significant in their journey.

The testimony of a collared weeble...

Friday was a significant day, though I had had limited time to think of that during the lead up.  In 3 weeks I will be ordained, I among others will make my vows as a minister and the church, through the voice of that congregation, will shout out 'They are worthy' as we gather for that moment.

The Methodist tradition is to ordain us after a couple of years on the job, the final testing and confirmation of our call to this, and we are gathered from across the country to one area - where the Conference meets that year.  Before we go it has become the norm for each district to hold a Testimony Service - where the about to be ordained speak of the journey to this moment among supporters and friends from the local churches.

As I said, I had been busy - and between Jubilee events and a double bank holiday trouble just remembering what day I was on! Friday's service was neither a hoop to be jumped (past assessment now) nor was it the main event, so I had approached it lightly.

On the night though it turned out to be quite emotional, and as for my testimony it wouldn't be honest if it wasn't about the wobbles and the time when I thought I would never get to be a minister because I could hardly hold it together as a person.  Somehow God had other plans, and even the church believed in me, paying to keep me in college and fund counseling for that year of major reassembly.

Today one of the set readings for church was the end of a chapter* in the part of the Bible where early leaders wrote to the first churches.  It follows on from the description of Christians as clay jars, God's treasure is within, but on the outside we can be fragile, chipped and more than a little mottled.

Rather than a clay jar, I'll settle for being a clay weeble, thankful that we don't have the responsibilty for trying to shine like the treasure, just hold it, and the more cracks we have the more the light can shine out.

* 2 Corinthians 3