A 'comeback' day

So today is a good comeback day, it began waking up from one of those really vivid, as tiring as if you have worked all night, confusing dreams – this involved sorting out random furniture in a church hall, with the WI, drama society and general chaos and politics! I still need to get to stage 2 of sorting out my own space first thank you!

Tired I fed the dog opened the garden door and returned back to bed until nearly 2pm.



Bribery to get a photo...



It got better after that, as my day off, and knowing she will be short changed the next couple of days with a full diary, I decided to head off to nearby National Trust place and use my season ticket to go for a long walk around the grounds. We got back from that and I managed to strim a bit more of the meadow that is my back garden, then Gabi let me groom her without needing a lead to confine her.  It was funny to watch her indecision about running away from me, or coming towards me, ... 'lets head that way, no I will, well maybe, yes, no, ohhh, ok I will go to her'!  We then had dinner and mine was real food made from actual vegetables!  A very nice veggie curry with portions for another couple of days.

At the National Trust place I finally brought the kind of local map that shows the footpaths so Gabi and I can explore more places. I am not confident enough to see a footpath sign at the road and feel that I can head across a field and somehow work out where it goes from there, I don’t want to end up where I don’t have public right of way and get all anxious and embarrassed. So now I can look up some  variety of walks and she can get used to the car being a way to get to some good times.



With a branch wider than most tree trunks this has been around a while!!



Part of me feels ready to face a bit more garden, but I am controlling it – lessons from my bad fatigue days, when recovering only use 75% or less of what you feel up to, so you have some saved for the new day.  It is tempting to get as much as possible done on a good day, but better to still be able to do some the day after. So I will add some pics from today, (taking note from the tree, slow and steady wins the long haul) and head to bed... Nos da.

Canine therapist

So the answer seemed to be yes to the Dog question. I have been to the rescue kennels and met the one I fell in love with on the website.  She is a collie/samoyed cross about 6yrs old, a big girl, and more so as both fluffy fur and very overweight. I have offers for dog walking from a friend who can’t have a dog in her flat, so between us she should get the exercise she needs to lose the flab, and we will go on a diet together.

Most people have been very positive about my live-in therapist and fitness buddy, the occasional warning comment has been from people worrying about me taking on a burden, rather than seeing the benefits.  My second visit to see Gabi was when I only felt like hiding in bed and would have all afternoon except I was motivated to do something else.

The new meds are still in early days, and in the morning – as yesterday’s has worn off and today’s not yet in the system – I feel so low. It is in the mornings than I doubt myself as a dog carer, as a minister, as capable of the most basic of things. Yet I do what I have to, I am thanked for a good service and sermon, or the Lent study group I somehow stumbled through. So I know somehow I can, and each day have to live in the moment, for the thought of years stretching ahead can seem overwhelming.

Yet this too will pass, and as I live in shadows now I wait for light of resurrection, a journey Gabi and I can take together, both rescued and learning to find our place.

But first I have to bring the house halfway to order at least before tomorrow's adoption inspection...