Today I have been in bed – all day, though did manage to surface for food hunt in the kitchen. It’s the chronic fatigue after a busy few days getting up at regular commuting worker times and concentrating for long periods of time whereas normally I rise later and take breaks, though will work late into the evening/night.
On my glass course there were just a few of us and we chatted a lot, I was introduced to the idea of Spoon theory – it is a close metaphoric cousin to my usual image of the energy budget. You only have so much available, and when fatigued each action costs more – or takes an extra spoon.
With the budget image I can explain the overdraft effect – that I can spend against the credit of the following day, but like overdrafts it comes with a cost. No energy the next day and it feels like I have to pay back with interest.
Today I am paying back my energy debt from last week's course, but it was worth it. My body may be fatigued but I am feeling really well mentally, lifted and renewed. Even lying here all day not able to do anything expect catch up on iplayer in a half listening way I have not feel the frustration or self reproach that is usual when I have to cancel something in the diary. Instead I have felt peace, tired peace, but peace!
So I definitely think it was worth it – and even worth the effects of fatigue.
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