Before Christmas I was getting so tired that it was an effort to stay awake much of the day, though by force of will I could when I needed to, as long as I could get a rest soon after.
The doctor put me on Amitriptyline to help me stay asleep at night (my sleep diary showed lots of waking in the small hours) and that has helped. I am now merely tired all day rather than exhausted. I was also sent for blood tests – iron, thyroid, blood sugars etc.
A return trip to the doctors reveals that my red blood cells are enlarged – suggesting a deficiency in B12 and folate. A dietary issue probably, 'can be alcohol as well' mentioned the doctor with a quip about communion wine, as he booked me in for B12 and folate blood checks.
I left without saying anything, but I have been drinking excessively during the past year. Not enough to be unable to stop (I did for lent) but enough that I would be embarrassed for people to know. I came home to google it all. It should be easy to get enough of these B vitamins in diet, but alcohol stops the body being able to get at it. I hadn’t expected that regular drinking at my level would have such a definite impact on my body’s functioning.
Or maybe the deficiency is due to the fact that my eating habits are rubbish. I often go without breakfast or other meals and then end up with a super sized portion when I do cook, or binge on lazy junk to get the sugar hit.
So whether it is the eating or the drink, my sins have found me out – my bloods tell the tale
I have felt ashamed at how things have been, and note that it is taking much more guts to comment on my drinking here, and yet my eating habits are equally self destructive. Shame may put me off the glass of red since the results, but hasn’t improved my diet (except that I added marmite to my crisp sandwiches).
It does make me wonder about the classification of weaknesses/faults/bad habits. Some are seen as worse than others and yet all can be as bad in terms of not caring enough for my own wellbeing.
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