Retreat reflections 1

I am on retreat preparing for ordination. In the Methodist church this is done after a couple of years on the job so can feel very different to the experience when it comes between college and the strange new life of the dog collar.  It is becoming a time of affirmation of who I have already become as a minister and reflecting on the experiences and habits so far.

Over a craft table I was talking with one of the retreat leaders, and she was asking about holidays.  I said I was going to Iona in the autumn – good – with a neighbouring church group – bad, this is not holiday but work apparently.  Then followed a discussion about my record in taking holidays as part of caring for myself – a conversation in which I came off badly.

In my first year I went on a week to Spain, a package trip with coach tours and sightseeing – my first encounter with the package holiday. Since then I have stuck to staying with friends and family, and having time off at home.  The last is considered a no-no in this job when the house is part of the job, but need it be?

Growing up we had a long period of years with no family holiday, food and clothes being a touch higher on the budget agenda, and I wasn’t the worse for it in the long term. Who can define for another what is restoring for them?  Some think a tent and a week’s hiking is relaxation, others want sun and sea, I need sleep and no expectations.

When I go away I find the preparation and organising stressful, and when I am in a new place feel obliged to do the scenic stuff because it interests me and I may never pass that way again.  In Spain the day trips were interesting but tired me out and having had Chronic Fatigue in the past and still vulnerable I have to be careful, a holiday needs to be about rest.

And if I am going to rest by sleeping in, watching films or reading a book then I am too much of a miser to justify spending a fortune and facing the stress of travel to do somewhere else what I can do perfectly well at home.  

What is important to me is that time of work is restful and restorative, and if that can happen best at home then why shouldn’t I? I serve scattered rural churches and don’t get many unexpected knocks at the door,  and even my phone is quieter than many in this job, and I am good at ignoring both of them on my day off and so equally in weeks off.

So if it works for me... I’m fine with that

Besides if I went away every time I had time off when would the garden get done?