Step by step - mowing and living

It took 3 days in all to mow the back lawn, not all day each day of course, but a good few hours each. It was not only my effort that ran out of steam - it was the constant unjamming of the mower, and waiting for the power to return after auto cutout, every few paces in the longest patches. The mower is not designed for over-long grass, nor the damp that hid within it.

I have a theory - just like water finds its own level so does grass, where the ground dips the grass is longer giving the impression of even coverage.  Today, early before the sun was too hot, I even tackled the front lawn, not as overdue and thankfully doesn't grow as fast as the back, but need to keep up appearances etc.

3 days of mowing together, or 3 days a few weeks apart when the cut is easier each time and job done? Putting off a job doesn't make it any easier, one cut instead of 3 didn't make life any less demanding. Instead it became something that was more intimidating, more overwhelming, more scary and harder to start to tackle.

In the same way when fatigue and low moods mean that I neglect care for myself - this week through some stressful situations, one about the care that ministry is about, one about the politics that it shouldn't be, I have missed meals, sleep and tablets - then I am letting the grass of life grow long, and risk the fear of being overwhelmed, or too intimidated to try.

Yet even the longest grass can be conquered in stages though overwhelming as a whole, and depressive clouds are fought step by step, pace by pace - just like my over grown back garden. And in the same way although it is finished it is also time to start again, and life annoying is like that, from mowing to washing up, to getting up each morning and facing a new day.

I faced the hugeness of the garden challenge* by allowing myself to not conquer it all in one go, the same goes for all the stresses I face. If I can celebrate the one step and not only see the many to come, then I might be able to face each step as possible.

Long ago I put a comment up on my office wall - 'Today I can, tomorrow can wait'. Otherwise expressed as 'One day at a time dear Jesus, that's all I ask of you'  and that is all he asks of us, even one hour or minute at a time if that is all we can manage.

And taking life and lawn mowing step by step is the best way to avoid being overwhelmed - and someday I may take my own advice!!

* BTW if in any doubt the bushes at the end of the garden are actually full size!

Ants and frogs?

I mowed the back lawn, otherwise known as the meadow, the grass having reached a foot high. Correction, I have half mown the lawn - the mower jammed so often and cut out that I gave up.

I have a pond - when the the grass is low you can even get to it!  The pond has frogs, and therefore so does my long grass meadow of a back lawn. When mowing the grass was moving and I would kick through it to encourage the frogs and froglets to move away from the danger.  On the other hand I found in the long grass impressively tall ants' nests - and broke them and added anti-ant powder. Why the difference?

Both ants and frogs are part of nature's ecosystem, yet I seek to save one and to kill the other - why? and how did I decide one has more value that the other, at least to me?  Am I simply a sucker for seeing the weak but determined froglets jumping away from the mower? Maybe. The vulnerable have a way of drawing our hearts (and I'm sorry but the ants are too small to feel for, despite watching 'A Bug's Life').

The other thing I noticed was the tendency of the frogs to jump away towards other long grass, not understanding the mower would follow them there. Whereas safety was actually in the scary openness of the section just mown/mangled.   How often do we retreat into the familiar when life is tough when actually life and hope may be in the places that seem more risky and scary?  And will we find the bravery to jump into the open?