In the psychiatrist's chair

So what would it be like, at the mental health centre, for an appointment with a psychiatrist?  Well standard NHS waiting room and then into a room with a desk for her to use writing notes and a few chairs.

It shows the stigma that mental health has in that in every physical medical speciality being referred to the specialist, a consultant and their team, is seen as a positive step forward in getting advanced focussed treatment. A referral to Ear Nose & Throat, or to the Oncologist or....   but try saying in general conversation that you are off to the Psychiatry Dept.   I have tried to be open about mental health in my life and did tell friends I was due to see a psychiatrist - but then found myself referring just to a hospital appt, or that GP had sent me to a specialist.

I was counting down and hopeful - since the autumn and before my referral I came across information on Bipolar 2 where the highs are not as high but the rest is much the same as Bipolar 1. The definition was a close fit and explained various points in my life, including at college before my grand crash down.  I have been on a peer support web forum and listening to others to see if it still felt a fit, it would explain why the anti-depressants have not had the level of effect hoped for over these years.

Ready for the day, with notes of my history of depressed times over the years, a mood diary from Jan 1st with the chart numbers put on a pretty graph, and hopeful.  It has been a long hard winter of depression, I would have gone to the GP to plead for something else, or a change in dose or... but no point when the psych appt on the doorstep - they will be able to offer something, a new approach, new hope.....

And?

A sensible, take it slowly, possibly bipolar stuff going on, too soon for labels, you are coping with life so no meds yet, carry on as before - come back in 6 weeks with more mood diary.  Disappointed.  Although, whether placebo effect of hope anticipated or the pendulum due to swing, I had headed up in mood a day or so before and that is still with me - so will cope for six weeks. Now where did I put that diary and mood chart?