New Year resolution - first big decision of 2014

I didn't intend to make any new year resolutions, but then I had to face a decision - and the resolution has come from that.  Three years ago I began a research degree, part-time and at a distance, to look at depression and faith.  Some said I shouldn't and couldn't, I felt and I could and I should.

I still feel the subject is vitally important, and that academically respected voices and findings have a valuable clout.  I also know and have had others confirm that I have the intellectual potential to wrestle with this.  But my depression has been less stable than I imagined and whether from that or the meds that keep it in check my concentration span and energy is simply not up to it, even when I set aside chunks of dedicated time.

So I have decided to withdraw.


Time to shelve the books for a bit


And the resolution?  

That 2014 be the year when I learn to say 'no' to my stubborn pride that doesn't like the idea of losing face or have others say 'we were right'.  Not that either of these is guaranteed except in my own mind.

I  have been helped in this by people in the ecommunity  managed by BPUK (Bipolar UK) - whether or not I have bipolar elements in my depression the people there have shown me that you don't have to stick with the things you decided when you were feeling up and able to conquer the world, and being able to walk away is a sign of strength.

After all the only place where 'I've started so I'll finish' is a rule is on Mastermind, not in real life.