New year's resolutions

Happy New Year!

As well as schools and colleges Sept is the start of a new Methodist church year too.  This year I am starting out with a few resolutions -

1. To be organised and pro-active with the admin. Since I started I have been on the back foot, and the study disappearing under piles because I didn't have a system. At first in a new job you are not sure what system to set up to suit your way of working, and after that I was too busy fire fighting admin to get organised. 

Therefore I set aside time in August to fight the paper acculmulation, separate out the important and set up a system ready for the new outslaught.  And I am ready!!

2. To get a more healthy eating pattern. I tend to bundle through the day on snacks then realise I haven't eaten properly and end up eating a huge portion because I can't judge how much pasta etc and am hungry anyway.  I have put on nearly 2 stone in 2 years in this job, so the healthy eating includes a diet....

3. To lose enough weight to fit back into clothes. (No list of new year's resolutions is complete without this one) Being a person who likes to see quick results I am half way through a month on a meal replacement scheme (Weight to go). It is making me eat at proper times during the day, and with pre-prepped meals it is easy and lazy to get that habit established.  And very yummy meals too.  So far I have already lost a few pounds and realising how much I need to change my portion sizes.

4. To get to bed earlier. Just because I am an owl not a lark doesn't mean 2 am is ok for me, Time to shift that body clock forward and rediscover how to function in the mornings.  Not doing so well on this one, last night was in bed by 11pm but still 1am before asleep.

Basically all my resoultions are about control - being the one who is in charge of bits of my life rather than simply reacting to things around me, or the impact of lazy or bad habits. We all need to feel that at some level, having control over our lives is an aspect of freedom, and to be able to control your own inclinations and inner chaos is important for self esteem.

When my depression was at my worst I had no sense of control, emotions were just there whether I wanted to avoid crying or not, I had - or took - no control over the world around me. Stuff happens but you are not part of it or feel unable to stop the chaos, it is all so overwhelming. Like a study full of scattered papers - your life is in there but its too hard to face finding it amid the chaff.

Small successes, moments of control, are to be celebrated, resolutions made are often quickly broken, but daring to try is a huge achievement in itself.

Will my new resolutions help me through the year to come - yes I am sure they will, but that doesn't mean that the study will stay tidy.

So Happy New Year; Happy New Day.