Well I survived the time with all those teens. It was part of a pilgrimage day and I had asked to walk with them rather than just arrive at the venue - I needed to warm up to the idea of being with them, and begin to have some understanding of the people I would be talking to.
Despite lots of mental practicing - including in my sleep - I was a useless ramble at the start but then got into a flow. I explained that talking to them was hard as had a tough time when a teenager, that sure some of them find things hard too. I took the phrase 'schooldays are the best days of your life' and unmasked it as a lie. For some they may be the worst of times, and even for those having a good time it makes it sound as if it is downhill from then when actually a whole life ahead of them.
I said that it had taken me years to get over the bullying and learn to be okay with who I am and encouraged them to use the idea of a pilgrimage space to think about who they are - not who others wish they were or they dream they could be, but who they actually are.
I explained that in all the difficulties of my journey I have had a sense of God holding me through it all. I ended with a prayer and used the Open the Book assembly wording 'I'm going to pray and if you would like to make it your prayer as well just say Amen after me' - but being teens added 'silently in your mind'!
I hadn't realised how much the teen fright would hit me in the moment - standing there with all of them, teachers, and the head! Some were giggling but I kept going. Afterwards as they were filing out I lifted my hand and it was really shaking.
The organising teacher said that when I started she thought 'this woman hasn't a clue what she is doing' but that as I went on she felt I was spot on for the mood and the point they needed to hear. Another teacher commented about how attentive they had been, I said some had been giggly, and her response was that some of those were the ones who were listening but couldn't be seen to be.
So raw edges, not an oratorial success but relevant and good for me to have faced and survived the hurdle. Walking and talking with them gave me the chance to meet them as individuals, and eavesdropping on some of the conversations reminded me how tough it is at that age - even when not bullied. In my teen years I was so busy surviving I didn't have time to notice how complicated a time it was for everyone else. I wouldn't want to go back to that time and don't envy those going through it.
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